JB Glossinger [00:00:09]:
2. Morning. And welcome to Morning Coach Today. I am so glad you're with us. Hey. It's JB. Super pumped you're here. It's August 26, 2024 ready to roll.
JB Glossinger [00:00:26]:
We're still in a due month, making sure you're working your plan, getting things going. You know, it's amazing how fast the years go. Right? Now all of a sudden, here we go. I mean, we're down the last week of August and we're gonna be moving into September. And that means, you know, we're gonna start doing some 2025 prep, and we got a lot of things going on. September, we're gonna be bringing you a lot of new things, and we're actually working with a, a new designer, pro awesome, person that actually was with me 14 years ago, built a huge business, and we're working on a new planner for 2025, making some enhancements. I'm bringing in a health section. There's so many good things going on.
JB Glossinger [00:01:04]:
And, obviously, thank you. Because if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be able to do this. And we got just so many great people behind the scenes volunteering, helping, and it's really community driven. And I mean, it just makes me you know, it's just so exciting. So let's finish this year strong. Let's get August, September, October. These are great months to get things done, buttoned up, closed up. So as we get into November December, we can start really working on a 2025 plan that's gonna make the year amazing.
JB Glossinger [00:01:31]:
This year's already going great, but we're gonna really explode. Like, I just I just feel the energy, and I wanna make sure that, some of you that are going through transition have the tools that are necessary to get there. Some of you that are, you know, doing great. Let's make sure we have make the tools better. And from those that are just getting started, like, trying to figure everything out, let's really give you the the processes to do that. And so that's what we're gonna be doing. And this week, we're gonna talk a lot about external validation and self actualization this week. It's gonna be a good one, a deep week.
JB Glossinger [00:02:01]:
And today, we're gonna get into this idea of why do we even need external validation. What is it? Tomorrow, we're gonna finish The Go Giver. I will announce the next book, which is A 2nd Mountain. I love that book. We're gonna we're gonna jump into that in September. We're gonna finish The Go Giver. Go Giver hit me hard this time. Really did.
JB Glossinger [00:02:17]:
It's affected my business and my life. And I've as I mentioned before, a lot of the MZ's book studies, if you read these books, you know, you could read a book 20 times. And a certain season in your life, it means so much more. And that's what The Go Giver really did for me. So we'll finish that book up tomorrow. Wednesday, we got when what does it mean to be actualized? What does it mean to be self actualized? To be actualized? So we're gonna have fun with that one. So, you know, can we get there? Is there something is there a feeling? How do we know? We'll talk about that Wednesday. Thursday, we got s j b.
JB Glossinger [00:02:45]:
We've got, discussed, and this is gonna be a deep one. We're gonna talk about the term enlightenment. We've all heard of that term. Is it something where we gotta throw a mumu on and head to India and live in an ashram? Is that when we're enlightened? We're gonna talk a little bit about enlightenment. So it's a it's a deeper week. Right? Self accusation, enlightenment this week. But these are very important topics, especially as we move into different areas of our life. And we're gonna next month, we're gonna get real deep because we're gonna talk about the 2nd mountain.
JB Glossinger [00:03:13]:
Like, this you you know, we climb this 1st mountain and a lot of us are really climbing our second. What does that mean? So a lot of this is kind of a preface for that as we close out the month, which is gonna be a lot of fun next month. Friday, we got understanding focus and motivation other than money. You know, are there other things that you can do to get you going? We're gonna get that going. Doctor Paul has been doing Saturdays great. Loving that. And then Sunday, we got fun and interesting things to do on Sunday. We're gonna have just a fun day on Sunday.
JB Glossinger [00:03:40]:
I figured this whole deep week we're getting into, let's let's change it up a little bit. So, again, a due month if you're with our plan, you can go up in the compass, check out where we're at, topics and things we're doing. You know, I don't know. I'd be interested to hear if I should change the name of that. Maybe that's too cute. I was doing some training the other day and talking to a few people, and I don't like cute. I like to be just direct. It just makes it easier.
JB Glossinger [00:04:02]:
There's so much noise out there, so I don't know. I I I came up with a compass years ago, and it was kind of a cute way to talk about it. It's a compass. It's the direction, right, that we're going. But it might be a little too cute for somebody that's just, you know, hitting us up for the first time. I'd love to talk to you about that in the community. And also, if you have any suggestions or anything that you would like to see in the planner, it'd be great to, let us know. Alright.
JB Glossinger [00:04:26]:
Let's get into today. Excited about the topic today, and it's really about external validation. So I was very fortunate to kinda be a mama's boy. My mom raised me, you know, by herself until I was probably 9 or 10, and then my stepdad came into my life. A lot of trauma. I I I know I'll just be blunt. I have no other way to say it. I didn't see it as trauma.
JB Glossinger [00:04:47]:
I I still don't see it as trauma today, but if you if I sat down from a psychologist and talked about everything that happened in my childhood, with our with with my my mom's relationships, how, you know, I never see my mom and dad together ever. I didn't even know they were together. So, you know, he had come pick me up. You know, I've talked about, you know, our relationship wasn't great since we lost him in March. I try to keep everything positive. But there are many times on the weekend he come pick me up and wouldn't show up. You know, and my mom had no money and, you know, used to have to steal food from the the cafe. She was a nurse's assistant to to bring food to us so we could eat.
JB Glossinger [00:05:24]:
I don't remember much about that time. I do remember, you know, and that's in that 4, 5, 6, 7 year old range. I do remember one time the upstairs, they had some fleas. They had a cat with fleas, and we lived below them. Either I think it was below them, and I was just a kid, like 4 or 5 years old, and the fleas got everywhere, and they bit me all up. And so it was really a really rough upbringing. And, I went to school, you know, when I went to kindergarten and then transferred schools. I do remember falling off the kitchen sink and smashing my head and throwing up all over school.
JB Glossinger [00:05:56]:
And then finally, got into to another school, and we, I got held back in 3rd grade. I was put in special needs. It was really rough. You know? They put me in a 3rd, 4th split class, and I got really bullied. And then they said I couldn't speak right and put me in special needs. You've heard that story before. And, you know, I and then I transferred schools again in 4th grade, and that's when my stepdad came into my life and, you know, they kinda stabled things out a little bit. But it was rough on my mom.
JB Glossinger [00:06:22]:
It was rough as a single parent in the early seventies. And and the reason I'm bringing that up is because, you know, when I look at my life, a lot of the, validation is to to, you know, let her know that things are okay. You know, that things are alright. And she did a good job. And I get a little emotional on that because I know how young and tough it was. Right? So it's it's a challenge, you know, and I know we all have challenges. But I think when it comes to external validation, you know, it's just, you know, wanting to show her that I could do something meant a lot. I'm sorry.
JB Glossinger [00:07:08]:
Because that gets me all fired up and emotional, but that drives me. So sometimes external validation, have an approval of others is not a bad thing. Okay? It's not always a negative. And I I I wanna make that a point as we get into that this week that sometimes, you know, wanting to please or wanting to serve is not a bad thing. I mean, that's the go giver. I think what happens with a lot of us though is because if we have that trait, right, because we've we've seen suffering and we've seen others, loved ones around us have issues that we wanna do good. You know, we wanna we wanna be the person that does good. I think what happens is then then we start looking for that validation in the wrong places.
JB Glossinger [00:07:55]:
And that's what I I want you to be cautious of Because I love that you can use it as motivation. But be cautious of of of, you know, putting it out there because you need that dopamine hit or you need the like or you need somebody to to approve of what you're doing. We wanna be independent. So even to this day, I'm very independent, you know, I'm very independent. I still wanna show and and and I obviously have, so that's kinda gone, but I still have that in me. I still have that little kid that, you know, wants to say everything's gonna be okay, you know, and and you did a great job. So it's it's one of those things that we've gotta it's like everything else in life. Right? It's it's it's a fine line.
JB Glossinger [00:08:39]:
It's like the fine line between love and hate. There's always a balancing act of going, okay. I want external validation. I I wanna hug that says, hey. You're doing great, and thank you. You know? But then again, you you don't wanna have that so much that you're turning into this needy person that, you know, needs that validation. And that's what I see with a lot of people is that we've gotta rise above that noise. And, again, the validation external validation that you're looking for, you know, having the emotional intelligence to be able to step back and look and go, okay.
JB Glossinger [00:09:12]:
What is important to me? I think that's important too. You know, we've we've all been through something. Everybody's been through something whether it's childhood or not. And and and one of my concerns is is that a lot of the youth of today hasn't been through anything. You know, they haven't really felt any pain, and and a lot of parents have tried to keep that from them. The pain that I went through as a child is what made me tough that I, you know, the person I am today. Tough, strong, mentally strong, can handle so much. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for what I went through.
JB Glossinger [00:09:42]:
You know, you grow through what you went through. Things aren't so tough, you know? And so when you understand that, you're able to look at the pain and look at the things and hardships and be able to come out of that. And I think the issue I have with a lot of kids and and teenagers and and younger people is they haven't had those issues. So they don't even understand what they're looking for. An external validation they're looking for is more fame instead of that external validation of actually serving and helping others feel good. And I hope that's important because when I look at this, this external validation piece, I do feel I am where I am today because of it. You know, I give, I love, I wanna help. I've seen suffering.
JB Glossinger [00:10:25]:
You know, I've seen single mothers out there. And many of you don't know this, but, you know, one of my driving factors for years was was helping single mothers. And I still do. It's more philanthropic. We've obviously gone to more productivity, and we're getting a lot productivity people here because that crowd is a really tough one to build a business around, but it doesn't mean I can't do it philanthropic. But I have a big place in my heart for that because I understand how tough that was, and I understand the challenges that people face out there. But with that being said, I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't I didn't have that need to go out there and give and and be externally validated in that way way. But if I was in the opposite side, which there's been points in my life when social media took off and stuff and my podcast took off and I was top 25 and egoic external validation started to happen, that started to hurt me because I was searching for that that dopamine hit of the growth, of the fame.
JB Glossinger [00:11:19]:
And, obviously, now we'll talk about the 2nd mountain next next month, but, you know, I'm on a different track now, which that stuff doesn't matter. So a lot of the things we do here at Morning Coach are about emotional intelligence. And as I mentioned, you know, a few months ago when we really got into this is that, you know, emotional intelligence is one of the best skills that you can have. And it's a skill that you can learn because we're observing things that are going on in our lives. And so it might not mean much to you to have a discussion about external validation, but it's gigantic in the scope of things. Because when you look at it, and this is what your homework is today and in this week, is to look at yourself and say, what am I really wanting? What what what do I want from an external validation point? And and you can't tell me nothing because everybody wants something. I don't care if you're the most machismo person on the planet. You still want something.
JB Glossinger [00:12:11]:
We all want something. And when you understand that, it helps you in your life. It really can help you understand who you are and what you're about. And we're gonna get into this Wednesday, and it it can help you self actualize. Because then you start looking at your internal motivations for external validation. And when you start looking for that, now all of a sudden we can make the changes of why you do what you do. And and here's the truth. A lot of this stuff is happening at the subconscious level because it's stuff that you've experienced and conditioned yourself.
JB Glossinger [00:12:49]:
And, again, I'm not a big past life regression guy, but there are times when you need to go to a therapist or a coach. And, again, if you've got stuff in your past and you need a therapist, I'm all for that. Just be very cautious of what therapist you work with. But when you look at your whole life experience, there's gonna be something that comes up. And that's an important piece in figuring out what drives us to do what we do. It's an important piece in living the life that we wanna live. So that need for external validation could sometimes is a great thing, but it also can be a big hindrance. And having the emotional intelligence to be able to step back and be aware of what is going on can make a big difference.
JB Glossinger [00:13:30]:
Because for me, just going up to my mom, giving her a hug, and saying you did a good job, it means a lot to me, and I'm sure it means a lot to her. And and knowing that allows me to have a better life because that brings joy. And we're gonna talk specifically about this next month. We're gonna get deep into what the difference is between happiness and joy. And my job is to bring more joy into your life. My job is to help you become more productive and and bring you energy and to really help you find that that peace and help you down the path of self actualization. Again, Wednesday, we'll get into that in into deeper. But today, what I want you to do is we go out there, and this isn't a negative thing, just step back and look at the the external validation that you're looking for.
JB Glossinger [00:14:20]:
And if somebody's on social media all the time and you're posting, is it because you want that like? You know, are you looking for the cognitive dissonance of everybody agreeing with you? It's an interesting journey. And and if you're somebody that's like, okay. I'm figuring this out. Start looking at other people. Look at your children. You know, understand them a little bit more. What are their what are they looking for? What is the external validation that you're looking for? Success leaves clues. You're gonna see the clues.
JB Glossinger [00:14:47]:
And if you can figure that out, you can help motivate your children. You can help you can help others in your community when you understand these concepts. These are so much deeper than morning coach. That's why for me, you know, when you do a program like this and you're involved in something, and I tell you, you know, let's do our ritual. And I didn't remind you this morning, take down self care, let's go chest. I do enough of it. Right? But when I when I say you never know when you're gonna get that one idea, it's unbelievable how the ROI can come from just one thing that says, wow. You know what? That's true.
JB Glossinger [00:15:23]:
And you start making subtle changes in your life because of it. And this one is a big one. It is a huge one as you get to know yourself. So take a little time today and think about your own external validations. And then look around, just observe this week external validations, and and you'll find, wow, this is what really, really works with people. And if you're a manager or somebody that owns a company, you should know with your people. This is critical. This is what can change everything in your organization, to understand why people are seeking that external validation.
JB Glossinger [00:15:58]:
Okay? So let's get out there. Have a great one. I love you. Go and join. It's gonna be a good day. And let's think about our own external validations as we rock on. Okay. I love you.
JB Glossinger [00:16:08]:
I'll see you tomorrow right here, a morning coach dotcom.
